


Some Like It Hot

by Jennyrosity



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Chinese Food, Crack, M/M, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 02:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13203951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennyrosity/pseuds/Jennyrosity
Summary: Tony likes spicy food.Bucky likes Tony...and spicy food.





	Some Like It Hot

"Ok, so that's a Kung Po chicken for Nat, sweet and sour pork for Steve, tofu noodles for Bruce - really, Bruce, does flavor bring out the Big Guy or something? - and...Oh god. Tony, come and get your special order out of the kitchen before it eats through the table."

"Don't be an ass Barton."

"I mean it, I'm not touching that. I don't even want to go near it. If the fumes burn out my eyeballs this team's down one archer."

"Oh no, not the mediaeval weapons specialist! However will we cope with just two super soldiers, a hulk, a lethal spy, occasionally a god, and the awesomeness that is me?"

"Bite me, Tony. Actually, come here and bite your food instead, it'll probably kill you faster than I can."

"What...What is wrong with Stark's food?"

The team startled slightly at a direct question from the normally taciturn Barnes. Since he'd completed his rehabilitation and joined the team, he'd been invaluable on the field, but rarely interacted with the others beyond that. That he'd joined them to eat at all was unusual, and a sign that not even he was immune to Steve's puppy eyes. 

"It's, er, a little on the spicy side Buck."

"IT MADE NATASHA CRY!"

"My eyes were watering, Clint, I was not crying! But that is not food anyway, it's a method of torture. I plan on using it next time I need someone to talk."

"I thought we’d agreed that wasn’t the best dish for a man with a heart condition, Tony?”

“Calm down, Brucey, it’s delicious AND healthy. Very nourishing. Probably good for the immune system too.”

“Only in the sense that if you survive eating it, you’re probably immortal. Even Thor won't touch that shit, man, and he's literally a god."

“Can I...try it?”

A horrified cacophony greeted that timid request - 

“BUCKY, NO!”

“Jesus, Barnes, did Hydra not put you through enough?”

“James, we’ve been over this, you don’t have punish yourself.”

Even Jarvis chimed in that "I do not think that would be advisable, Sargent Barnes”, but before anyone could stop him, with a cheerful "sure thing Tastee Freeze”, Tony had scooped a forkful of fiery death noodles into Bucky’s mouth.

The Avengers switched instantly into high alert, prepared for anything from supplying several buckets of drinking water to defending themselves from a suddenly triggered Winter Soldier. What no one was expecting was for Bucky’s to give an orgasmic groan of pleasure, snatch the carton and fork from Tony; launch himself effortlessly onto one of Clint’s perches, and wolf down the noodles as if he’d not eaten in weeks. 

“Oh my god.”

“How is that even possible? Even Tony only eats them cautiously with a glass of milk on the side.”

“Is it the serum? Steve, is this a super soldier thing?”

“Not unless Bucky's version of it also stripped him of taste buds!"

“It’s rude is what it is. That’s my lunch, Barnes, gimme.”

“Mmppf.”

“C’mon, gimme!”

“MMPPF!”

“Barnes, give me my...”

“Mmppf mmph mff mmppff MMMPPPFF!”

“....what was that?”

"If I may, Sir, I believe that was 'I don’t care how gorgeous you are, Tony, you will pry these noodles out of my cold, metal hand.' In Russian.”

“Well that’s...wait, Barnes thinks I’m gorgeous?!”

“Mppf.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone while digesting a very spicy lunch, after it occurred to me that Buck, after decades of whatever bland rations Hydra supplied him with on missions, would probably enjoy a bit of spice. 
> 
> Oh yeah, and Thor's off world, but as Clint points out, even his godly digestive system finds Tony's special a bit much.


End file.
